A few years ago I saw a job listing to help an entrepreneur get her business off the ground. It felt like the perfect opportunity to experience what it’s like to run my own business, but it seemed too good to be true at the same time. When a mutual friend reassured me that it would be fine, I went for it. When I started, I truly thought I had found my dream job. I was working from an amazing pool house with ocean views. I was learning about all aspects of running a business – from my previous experience of building a website and creating social media content to things that were completely new to me, like designing packaging and planning trade shows.
She wanted to be the face of the brand, the star, but she was also a perfectionist and hesitant with putting content out there. We started having very constructive disagreements on how to do things. It taught me that conflict isn’t always a bad thing. It didn’t mean that she didn’t approve of what I was doing but she was always wanting things to be better and it pushed me to do better and have higher standards. I learnt how to justify why I decided to go in a certain direction while also incorporating her ideas. But the constant changes and disagreements got exhausting. There were multiple times where we both ended up in tears, we were both so passionate about this project.
After we launched the website we celebrated, but then she started to withdraw. She stopped coming into the office and left me to my own devices. It felt like she had essentially stepped out of her own business. At first, I was secretly glad that she left me alone, there was less confrontation. But at the end of the day I still needed her approval before publishing anything, and I was often hanging in limbo with no idea where I stood.
She then asked me to help her make a video application for an incubator program. I filmed her while she spoke about all the ways her business was failing and why she needed the support of this program. I took it personally, it felt like my responsibility. It started to feel like this was all a massive failure. She asked me to work part time and was giving me menial jobs like selling her clothes on Etsy.
One day I was in the car with my partner after grocery shopping. I was feeling discouraged. I thought I had found my dream job, but it wasn’t all I dreamed it would be and I was still looking for more. That’s when my partner suggested yoga teacher training. Yoga was already a big part of my life, but I had never considered taking it further. This is when things started to change for me.
While I knew I needed to leave the position, it was hard to step out of the business because I felt a responsibility to hand it over properly. I started working 2 days a week at an agency to transition out slowly, but she was constantly calling me with questions. The agency often wanted me to work extra hours but having the weight of her constant calls and questions made it hard for me to fully show up at the agency. I couldn’t work out the balance so in the end I quit both.
My first day at home after all this, she sent me flowers to thank me for my hard work. That felt like the first real appreciation I got from her in a long time. I finally felt like I was free from all the pressure. It really felt like a weight had been lifted and my journey to recovery began.
Yoga teacher training saw me through all of this. I really connected with people there and did something I loved. It had a big impact on me. I had spent years trying to figure out what my purpose was, and yoga teacher training finally opened up a door. I realised that there is never going to be an end to learning and that there are infinite things I can do. I thought this dream job would be ‘it’ but if it taught me anything, it’s that there is no arrival point. Life is a never ending journey. I started teaching yoga at my new workplace and one day only one person showed up. It made me realise that one on one work is what I want to do. I was also really passionate about nutrition at the time, so I trained to become a holistic wellness coach. I started slowly building a business, one that was sustainable and didn’t overwhelm me. I now coach leaders in tech one on one and help them manage stress, prevent burnout, and find balance.