Four weeks ago, I sat in my car and cried. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t face trying to work out how I could move my business forward past this challenge because it felt so utterly impossible to move past but equally I couldn’t face the thought that for the first time I was considering giving up.
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My boyfriend texted me asking where I was and he ended up coming to get me, to physically move me out of the car and into our apartment 100m down the road.
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I then proceeded to sit there for 2 hours unable to eat, desperate for someone to come and take on or even share my problem with me. But there is no one. I am a sole trader so this is my sole problem.
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I wished I could share this challenge with my customers, so they could understand the challenges & effort I go through every day to deliver them my services but I knew I couldn’t do that. I told myself that I’ve just got to suck it up and keep up that Disney smile and uplifting social media posts so they continue to get the experience they have come to love and expect.
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Maybe I’ll feel better in the morning I thought, but at that moment I dreaded waking up. I did start to feel better but it took at least two weeks to find peace with my challenges. The voice in my head that shouts loudly every time I make a mistake doesn’t seem to want to go away, this whole starting your own business thing is far from easy.
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At the time it felt like I just took it slowly day by day, putting one foot in front of the other and focussed on delivering a great service with a smile while battling on behind the scenes. But, in hindsight, I can now see that I took a step back to find my way forward. I journaled, reflected, talked it through & gained advice from friends in the industry. I gave myself space from the challenge (and my business in general) allowing me to see things from a refreshed perspective.
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Working solo is so mentally challenging because often the issues stay on my mind clouding my vision and I can exhaust myself running around in circles trying to find an answer. It can be hard to find a way out, but having stand-in “colleagues” including friends, my boyfriend and others in my industry as well as a journal, piece of paper or even the back of a napkin, to verbalise or visualise the challenge can really help me. I also took an ACTUAL break away from my business for 3 whole days!! A weekend away arrived at the perfect time to let my mind breathe and my nervous system calm down.